Sexy Song of the Week: I touch myself

Posted by on October 6, 2008 
Filed Under Sexy Song of the Week

divinyls

In honor of your reading on solitary sexual practices, the sexy song of the week is “I Touch Myself.” This 1991 tune, turned perennial karaoke favorite, launched the Australian group, the DiVinyls, into one-hit-wonder fame. The video was very popular.

Masturbation goes by many descriptive, often funny, names. As discussed in Carroll Chapter 10 and in lecture, the practice is a safe release for (sexual) tension. However, many people choose not to experiment with masturbation for reasons such as religious or cultural prescriptions and personal guilt or embarrassment. This is especially the case with women. Your textbook reports that college men masturbate 3 times more than college females. Tell me: Is this a shocking find given a 95% success rate in women reaching orgasm via self-stimulation as opposed to a much lower chance of orgasm during intercourse?

This is your chance to comment on this sexy song, of course, but I am more curious about your thoughts on masturbation. Why is it still considered secret or taboo to some, especially for women? Is it a more accepted practice for men?

What in our cultural world informs our norms about masturbation? Why is it often used as a comical device in media as in American Pie? How is masturbation presented in church or in school? What myths do we have (like it will cause blindness)? How did your peers or parents talk about masturbation to you? Was your experience at all similar to this interesting lesson given by the ne’re-do-well uncle on Weeds involving a banana?

Finally, how important do you think masturbation is to a healthy sex life? Is there a place for masturbation in relationships or is it a secret to be kept from your partner?

Comments

5 Responses to “Sexy Song of the Week: I touch myself”

  1. Candace on October 6th, 2008 3:25 pm

    Masturbation has always been an unclear topic to me. Of course, this class explained (in great detail) how both men and women masturbate. When I hear the word masturbation, I think of the time I became aggravated with one of my best guy friends and I said, “Why don’t you just go masturbate!” Obviously, the word masturbation is usually accompanied with laughs. The thing that strikes me the most is that people do not normally associate masturbation with women. As a female, I did not even know that masturbation is a universal term for both males and females. I never would have mentioned masturbation to a female friend. Honestly, I did not even know that women could masturbate. I suppose that explains how most women are somewhat shy about their own genitals and do not feel moral thinking about sex. According to traditional roles, men are more aggressive in nature, and women are passive and have sex to please men. I am glad that these roles are beginning to fade away, but many (especially the elderly) still rely on the gender differences.

    I personally feel that masturbation is disgusting and would never engage in it. My opinion may have been shaped by the idea that it is sinful and dirty. Even though the class has educated me in sexuality, the taboos have not been ereased from my mind. I do not think that masturbation will ever be approved by everyone because parents are still raising their children in almost the same ways. Boys grow up playing with water guns and toy cars; girls grow up playing with dolls and kitchen sets. Cultures are difficult to change because so many people are a part of it and most of them refuse to change their views.

  2. Emily on October 6th, 2008 6:36 pm

    I completely disagree. I grew up playing with water guns and toy cars and my brother grew up playing with dolls. I don’t understand why we need these defined rules on what it is to be a man and a woman. I feel like your comment reflects views of people who think that a woman’s place is in the kitchen.

    I personally find nothing wrong with masturbation. It’s a completely natural phenomon. I’m very open about my masturbation with my friends as are they with me. I think that as a woman it is more beneficial to masturbate because they need time to explore what needs to be done to bring them to orgasm. I personally can’t orgasm during intercourse but can do so during masturbation. I don’t think it’s sinful and dirty because I think masturbation can keep you from losing control. If you don’t have a means of releasing sexual energy you might let your guard down and do something you regret. Honestly I think I masturbate more than some of my male friends, and am definitely more open than some of them. I have no problem with masturbation in a relationship. When I’m in one I talk to my partner about it and sometimes even call him/her while I masturbate.

    It’s fun, it’s free, and it’s health benefical. I don’t see any downsides! ^.^

  3. Kelli on October 7th, 2008 10:46 pm

    I think you should stop writing about how bad masturbation is and go try it….U will never waste your time again :)

  4. Anonymous on October 8th, 2008 11:35 am

    Background Information: I am a spiritual and somewhat religious woman who masturbates (clitoral stimulation only, no penetration please!) several times a week, some weeks daily ok? Already, some of you are probably like, “How can one say religious and masturbation in the same sentence?” I’ll explain how towards the end of this. Anyway, I orgasm EVERY time I masturbate, sometimes multiple times. I have never achieved orgasm via oral sex and I am not interested in having vaginal-penile intercourse until after marriage.

    Now, here’s the thing. We did learn that clitoral stimulation is the best way for a woman to achieve an orgasm. I’ve never had intercourse so I don’t have that standard of comparison. Still, that being said, I feel sorry for women who have never masturbated (no no no, keep reading…). No lie, the feeling is out of control amazing! And unless a lady’s partner knows what he is doing to bring about the same feeling, I don’t think she will ever know what it feels like to orgasm in such a manner.

    BUT, masturbation may come with pitfalls, for me anyway. I fear that because I have done it so excessively for so long (years I tell you, years…) I may not be able to orgasm any other way. Take my experiences with oral sex for example. I’ve had the best (and worst) I’m sure. But trust, I have a PhD in the field of Clitoral Stimulation so I tend to have really high expectations of my partner, which he NEVER meets. Till today I’m still convinced that a man will never be able to make me feel the way that I make me feel. Overall, I just think that masturbation may have negative effects on my future relationships…and my spirituality….

    I did mention that I was spiritual right? Right. I think that engaging excessively in any sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong. And clearly, I am GUILTY of that sin. We all sin. I say “sin” because engaging in excessive sexual activity is an act of LUST, and maybe greed and selfishness, whatever. And lust is a sin, in my book anyway. I know that God knows that we are human and we make many mistakes. Yes, He forgives us. However, I do not think that His mercy justifies the reason why I, for example, commit the same sin every single day.

    Bottom line, all things in moderation with strives to change for the better. I can say “religious” and “masturbation” in the same sentence because I am pretty fresh in my journey to righteousness and clearly have a LONG way to go. Masturbation is not only my addiction but also my struggle. While it feels great and everything, it is also a bit of a problem for me. And while I may feel sorry for the next woman who does not do it, she has every right to feel the same for me. Masturbation is something I am seeking to overcome not just because of taboo or whatever else people see wrong with it, but for my own spiritual advancement. Let’s be real, there are too many distractions in this life. I don’t need lust to be another one holding me down and keeping me from reaching ultimate salvation.

    So yea, I could continue but I think I’ll stop. Tthanks for reading my post. Hope you found it inspiring lol =)

  5. Candace on October 9th, 2008 4:22 pm

    Hey, I thought I would clear up the confusion. I am in no means saying that a woman’s place is in the kitchen. In fact, I am quite a feminist. I despise cooking and absolutely refuse to do laundry. I have NEVER done a load of laundry in my life. I have enough clothes to last me a few weeks and I bring my load home :) My favorite toys were the ones I played with at my neighbor’s house. They were cars and anything else you can think of that little boys played with when we were young. My sister actually has two children of her own. My brother does also. My sister raises her son to play only with masculine toys and her daughter to play only with feminine toys. My brother’s two sons both have their own doll and even have a name for them. They love their dolls; they “feed” them and everything. I personally think that children should explore all types of toys in order to know who they really are. I am a tomboy. I do not have one really good friend that is a girl. I have always had guy friends because I get along with them more. No DRAMA!!! :)

    As for masturbation goes, I am not interested in pleasing myself sexually or knowing what pleases me (at least not yet). I think I would find much more pleasure in playing tennis, going to movies with friends, and going to the football games.

    I do have a question for those of you girls who do masturbate often: where do you do it if you have a roommate? In the bathroom? lol. And do you just pencil it in your schedule? Or is it random?

    I am a virgin and have not engaged in any sexual activities. I have had a good number of boyfriends and I stayed in a relationship with each of them for a relatively long period of time. I never felt pressured or even had the want to engage in anything. I am in in no way modest, but I want to wait until I have found someone who I feel is completely worth it.

    So you may be wondering why I have never tried masturbating? I suppose I am simply not interested in giving myself pleasure. It seems awkward to me :) Maybe I am missing out, but I do not mind. I have plenty of other things that keep me smiling and determined.

    Masturbation is not competition. I live for competition :) I love beating people in things that they spend their life attempting to perfect and I have never done it before. Best feeling ever. So no masturbation for me haha