Hand job humor and gender

Posted by Lance Gravlee on January 24, 2008 
Filed Under Class discussion

Two weeks ago the Voices of American Sexuality blog drew attention to a YouTube video that makes light of a hand job. As they say, “hand jobs are funny.” But notice how this particular joke plays on our expectations about gender.

The set up for the joke is funny in part because it contradicts gender stereotypes. The man is fretful and talkative; the woman is gruff and insensitive. The punch line finally releases the tension (so to speak) by appealing to traditional stereotypes. No matter what else is on a man’s mind, it suggests, he’s always ready to be . . . distracted.

Think about it: would this joke have been funny at all if the woman couldn’t sleep and the man offered a helping hand?

Comments

5 Responses to “Hand job humor and gender”

  1. Kyle Fleming on January 26th, 2008 9:45 am

    As you said, it appeals to gender stereotypes in the end. The man couldn’t care less that the woman is acting cold while giving him a hand job. I’m sure if the man offered reciprocal action and was cold about it, the woman would get upset.

  2. Mia Requesens on January 26th, 2008 2:10 pm

    I agree this is a gender sterotype too. If the woman was feeling worried and fretful, she would probably not have minded a little “helping hand distraction” if it was for the best interest of her. If it was to “shut her up” so he could go to sleep, it wouldn’t work. Guys are a little less picky on how you approach things I suppose.

  3. Lance Gravlee on January 26th, 2008 3:15 pm

    @Mia: Keep in mind that the joke is playing on stereotypes, not necessarily on what men and women actually want. Part of the point of this week’s lectures was that gender stereotypes can mislead us about how specific men and women experience sexuality. Some guys might not be picky; others probably are. That’s an empirical question, and we need to move beyond gender stereotypes to understand individual desires.

  4. Jenna on January 26th, 2008 4:48 pm

    I feel as if this joke would not have been funny had the roles been reversed. Society has created this idea that men are easily appeased and distracted by sexual interaction and well, a good hand job does the trick.

    However, a woman’s emotions are not as easily ignored. I know that Cosmopolitan magazine isn’t a scientific journal or anything, but there was an article some months back that stated in order to achieve pleasure, a woman’s mind must be “almost completely shut down”, meaning that one must not be distracted or thinking about anything else other than the sexual pleasure she is feeling… a little more difficult, eh?

  5. Brian on January 27th, 2008 2:38 pm

    This clip is from an HBO series called “Lucky Louie.”

    http://www.hbo.com/luckylouie/index.html

    Some of you may have seen the show before. For the uninitiated, “Lucky Louie” is about a youngish married working class couple with a small daughter, just trying to get by in the world. Much like “Roseanne” before it, the show may seem at first a bit crass or vulgar, but the show consistently discusses gender roles and (mis)communication between men and women with a kind of honesty and relatability that is not usually seen on traditional television sitcoms. For instance, another episode of the series begins with Louie’s accidental success at giving his wife her first orgasm; the remainder of the episode is focused on his obsession to figure out just what he did “right,” much to his wife’s chagrin. The discussions they have in that episode, and in every episode, mirror some of our discussions from class about what we believe men and women want out of sexual intimacy. I believe the first season is out on DVD now, and I would encourage you all to add it to your video queue.